Dealing with Relationships

I once saw a professional man who had never been married. He never could find the “right” woman. He had come to believe that he had sabotaged many good relationships. He would first find a woman very appealing and would fall deeply in love with her. Later he would find faults with her. He would dwell on these faults until he found them unbearable. Then he would end the relationship. Later, he would sometimes look back and wonder why he had left particular women. He would feel he had missed an important opportunity for beginning a family. He wanted to understand why this kept recurring in his life and feel more confident about future decisions and relationships.

In therapy, we discussed the details of these relationships. He began to understand his pattern of feelings and how that pattern was recurring in his current relationship. He had a chance to take charge of his actions, and something out of his control came under his control.